April the 1st. I have a paunch, confused thoughts, disappointment with self. All these reflected in an unsmiling face, indecision, blabbering, back-stabbing. Rather an ugly picture. It is only a stage but what a dreadful stage to be in. Stuck with cyber-stuff : Facebook, Yahoo, Gmail, Flickr, etc. No human contact, reminiscing old friends but there are really no friends here. The only saving grace is the kids. They are growing and breatheing, and they are my raison d'etre. I should never forget that.
I go to Post-Grad school in a few months, part of the steps in my search for my Personal Legend. I thought this could lead to teaching, a balanced life and giving back what I have received. It's not always written in stone, right? It could change, right? I could make my own choices without fear and worry that I've made a grave mistake, right? I know I swore I won't teach like Ma and Da but looking back, it is a noble profession. Although it could be a sad fate, that is, teaching Hospitality. But on further introspection, I do love doing it. I probably love it better than if I had ended up looking into oral cavities for life. I will never know, though. But does that mean I am giving anything back, though, or doing anything meaningful? Will I be really?
If I am paying for it, I might as well do it well. But keep that hotel job for the sake of the benefits. Not much of a work of Art but a very honest one.
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