I will miss you, Hernancito

Today, I attended Hernan's funeral. Hernan is one of my Body Pump teachers. He always made class fun and something to look forward to. And I had a big crush on him. He was only 33. The service was heart-wrenching. His brother, Leo, gave a very moving speech. Briar, his partner, sobbed mid-way. His adopted Mom sang. The man I barely knew but saw a lot of came to life before me. Albeit late. And this is one thing I regret not having done - talking to him or asking him out. A crazy thing but I am really broken-hearted. Such a young life, so full of promise. Just like my little brother who was just there one day and was rudely taken away from us. My heart is screaming with the unfairness of it all. You ask God why these things happen. Why not take away the ones who make others' lives miserable. Lord, I respect Your wisdom and Your reason but I find it unfair that someone like him is taken away so rudely from us. He needs to inspire further, to spread goodness and happiness. Quiero morir. It's selfish, I know, but that's how I feel right now. I don't know if these tears are a continuation of 8 years ago when Litlit had to leave in such a rush, in worse circumstances. My God, please take this pain away. Please let them rest in peace. I don't want them left in limbo because I'm crying. Will I still see them someday? Mon Dieu! S'il te plait!!!